kismaayo:

job interviewer: so…tell me a little about yourself :)
me: sure. i’m a virgo, INTJ, i love tank tops oh my god did you see the Anaconda video? that changed my life!
interviewer: bitch me too! the fuck. you got the job

(via slapmytitties)

yarrahs-life:

foreverpruned:

Then // Now

Out of all the spices… yall chose salt and pepper? You making basic bitches or powerpuff girls?

*chokes* can’t.

(via slapmytitties)

awwww-cute:

That makes sense

awwww-cute:

That makes sense

(via nebranska)

nebranska:

jeks182:

nerdsandgamersftw:

EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOUR DOING! MOTHERFUCKING CAT ARMOR!!!

Via Etsy

And now I leave you tumblr with this armoured feline warrior.

is the warrior cats fandom excited now or something

Misha Collins aka ray of sunshine

(via 10knotes)

lost-in-ikea:

glam00ur:

all 46 excuses on my friends wall, 

1. i was just really, really early for tomorrow

2. we can’t all be usain bolt

3. in this day and age, we shouldn’t need labels like “late”

4. i had pe first period do you blame me

5. i really, really didn’t want to sing

6. my brother thought it would be hilarious to drop me outside the prison gates

7. you can’t tell me how to live my life

8. #YOLO

9. my legs fell off and i had to roll all the way to the emergency clinic

10. there was a freak yachting accident

11. i am a fucking retard

12. this is just for my wall

13. do you even read these

14. “it does not matter how slow you go, so long as you do not stop

15. i spent my entire night writing tom daley fanfiction

16. my father left my mother for an air hostess seven years ago do you expect me to get over that emotional trauma overnight

17. sarah palin and i got into a twitter war and i couldn’t leave and let her win

18. traffic jammy jammy jam

19. how can i go to school when alex turner

20. my sim was having an emotional meltdown and i needed to be there for her

21. i was sticking it to the man

22. i spent my entire night worrying if i would ever lose my virginity 

23. fifty shades of late; i was walking and then i caught the eye of an attractive member of the opposite sex and we began exchanging significant looks and i knew we would one day make sweet love so i just walked alongside him and tried to catch his eye and to be continued

24. part two he was playing hard to get so we walked and walked and he had the perfect hair colour it was sort of beige brown anyway it turned out he was walking to a bus stop so obviously i had to catch the bus because true love and silently we rode out to papakura and into the sunset

25. my meth lab caught fire

26. my bed is more comfortable than your school will ever be

27. i was sad

28. it was a nice day, so i walked leisurely

29. i had beat my younger brother for saying “swag”

30. i had to travel back to the 1950’s to ensure my birth

31. 2 kool 4 scool

32. i had to stop, collaborate and listen

33. i tried

34. i’m sorry i’m late

      it’s not my fault

      my auntie was killed

      and i joined a cult

35. a haiku about lateness:

late late late late late

late late late late late late late

 late late late late late

36. my best friend was telling me how to give a satisfactory blow job i wish i was joking

37. i was fashionably late

38. i was caught in a flash mob true story omfg

39. i did not choose the late life, the late life chose me

40. do

41. you

42. even

43. read

44. these

45. i was fighting al qaeda

46. traffic

YESSSS IT’S ON MY DASHBOARD AGAIN

the post that doesn’t age

(via preteenager)

its-awesome-turtle-time:

nonstupidname14:

castleforeverx:

YES.YES.YES. People need to realise this 

This belongs more on Facebook than it does on tumblr.

i think you’re missing out on some of tumblr then… but it should be on facebook too, it should be on every social media site!

(via humorful)

  • parents: *yells at you*
  • parents: *screams at you*
  • parents: *doesnt listen to what ur saying*
  • me: *raises voice slightly*
  • parents: HEY watch ur tone we did not raise u to be so disrespectful this is unacceptable I can't believe ur yelling at us like this what is wrong with u calm down
ultrafacts:

set-phasers-to-gay:

j-to-rule-the-world:

ultrafacts:

Source For more facts, Click HERE to follow Ultrafacts

Well somebody finally gets it!

Every school should be like mine: four hours a day, three time slots you can attend (morning at 8, afternoon at 12, evening at 5), online classes in case you miss a day, english and math direct instruction, bus stop close by, you can graduate early if you want, you can switch time slots if you need to, and they respect if you have a mental disorder/want to be addressed by a different name or by diff pronouns. You can listen to music, too, and everyone is super chill. Small classes where everyone minds their own business and gets their work done. That is how school should be.

ultrafacts:

set-phasers-to-gay:

j-to-rule-the-world:

ultrafacts:

Source For more facts, Click HERE to follow Ultrafacts

Well somebody finally gets it!

Every school should be like mine: four hours a day, three time slots you can attend (morning at 8, afternoon at 12, evening at 5), online classes in case you miss a day, english and math direct instruction, bus stop close by, you can graduate early if you want, you can switch time slots if you need to, and they respect if you have a mental disorder/want to be addressed by a different name or by diff pronouns. You can listen to music, too, and everyone is super chill. Small classes where everyone minds their own business and gets their work done. That is how school should be.

(via rnoobies)

awwww-cute:

"Oh boy Oh boy, we got a call! Let’s roll, partner!"

awwww-cute:

"Oh boy Oh boy, we got a call! Let’s roll, partner!"

(via joshpeck)

(via rnoobies)

andreafluff:

instadayum:

kamikaze95:

nowyoukno:

Remember IT IS NOT A WOMAN’S RESPONSIBILITY TO PREVENT RAPE. In the world we live in, however, women should be empowered with any tools in order to protect themselves. Source for more facts follow NowYouKno

:-))

i think the best but also saddest thing about this is that MEN created this product to protect women from MEN

Preach.

andreafluff:

instadayum:

kamikaze95:

nowyoukno:

Remember IT IS NOT A WOMAN’S RESPONSIBILITY TO PREVENT RAPE. In the world we live in, however, women should be empowered with any tools in order to protect themselves. Source for more facts follow NowYouKno

:-))

i think the best but also saddest thing about this is that MEN created this product to protect women from MEN

Preach.

(via rnoobies)

iamprincessash:


I don’t even care how this happened

iamprincessash:

I don’t even care how this happened

(via what-is-this-i-dont-even)

bronwhat:

so one morning my alarm went off signaling for me to get up but it’s the same noise as my ring tone and I was still 89% asleep so I thought someone was calling me so I answered my hand and it was my mom wanting to talk to my sister so I went to my sister and held out my hand and was all like “mom wants to talk to you” and we both spent like 5 minutes just staring at my hand

(via kristacracy)

misterandry:

i think honestly what amazes me most about all the thin women whining about nicki minaj is that she didn’t even really insult you????? she didn’t call you unattractive or unworthy or ugly she just said “fuck you, i want some fat women out here”

like how whiny and self obsessed are u

(via kristacracy)